Have you asked for help?

We raised our daughter like a son.. Thats what most families say laying a foundation for imaginary equality

No,thats not possible 

Because no son in ever raised to care for two families equally. Giving equal opportunity in education does not ensure equality during career progression either. 

This world could do a great favour letting daughters remain daughters.

Because our needs will be different. We will need support to pursue careers, motherhood, constant judgement always. 

When pandemic came,across nations women gave up jobs to look after families and care for homes .. many who continued working battled guilt, extra work, exhaustion and mental breakdown.

When was the last time you asked for help without judging yourself? 

Without worrying? 

Without fearing rejection? 

That's because women are expected to "manage" somehow. 

Set yourself free! Learn to reach out for help. Line up resources. This will keep you healthy in the long run. 

The world needs to know that .. 

Equality means supporting women as they transition through various phases of life

Equality means given them a choice 

Equality means empowering them when they ask for help in difficult stages

And it begins with you asking for help.... 

Have you forgiven yourself?

 Life is full of interactions with other individuals. And every interaction is driven by our own emotional wiring. We all have very customized and unique biases, perceptions, actions and reactions. No wonder we end up having a mix of pleasant as well unpleasant experiences and memories of these very events that further consolidate our future behavior. 

Have you experienced being very jumpy or reactive in some scenarios? Or being very repelled by some people even when others seem normal around ? And then there are moments of powerful hurting that seem to engraved in flesh that come alive in a surprisingly painful way. 

During coaching conversations women often say this to me..

"How can I forgive"? 

And the narrative about the person who hurt, the words, the actions, the pain and finally the emotional whirlpool engulfing the space, sweeps away all the peace in that very moment. 

The truth is you are hurting not because of what the other person did then, rather its because your core cannot believe you let it happen! There is a saying in sanskrit, ATMA RAKSHATO DHARMA, means protecting our soul is our primary duty. So yes if you failed to protect that you feel failed and that hurts.

So you do not have to forgive the other but .. yourself. And accept it happened. 

Acceptance is the key to your healing. 

And this should be followed by learning. What did you learn about yourself when this happened. There lies the answer on how to protect yourself further. I leave that for next time

To all women reading this, take a moment today, sit back, breathe and forgive yourself..

 

Have you been heard?

 Women. Traditionally labeled as talkative half of human race,chatterboxes and gossip queens, they are often seen in groups huddled together pouring words out. Most discussions are about clothes,families,fashion and daily lives. Women compare norms they were raised into and ones they had to fit into after marriage with marvelous details. 

I have been privy to many such talks and it was once in a very noisy room that I just asked a lady who spoke endlessly, as to what she really wants from her life. It resulted in a deafening silence. She blinked, stammered and flashed a very uncomfortable smile. The group looked at me with curiosity as I sat plain dressed without any make up and was just listening to the chatter without any verbal contribution till then. I choose not to reveal what followed but it was a turning point in my life. Because I heard the silence not the noise for the very first time and felt unsettled.

It made me wonder about a lot of things around women. We are born to follow rules, adhere to norms , and be subjected to numerous judgments ranging from physical attributes to our conduct in day to day life. Orders fly around from early age and that results in emotional blunting sooner or later. Voice converts to noise in retaliation but the true core goes into hiding. A woman is so used to being told everything,subjecting her feelings to analysis, being questioned and allowing emotions to be wrapped in a set of norms with labels that she soon stops hearing her own self too.. 

If you are a woman reading this, take a pause and reflect. What is your body telling? What does your mind want from you? When was the last time you truly heard yourself? Do not be plagued by the what follows. Its years of trauma that needs to heal, and listening to yourself is just the first step. Once your voice is found, share with your tribe. Encourage them to hear themselves and each other. This begins with you. This begins now.

Lets hear it out!!!